Choices

Life is a series of choices. People try to find a lot of excuses out there to rationalize the choices they make, as if they need to. Often times they try to pass choices onto someone or something else, removing themselves from the potential repercussions of that choice. To me, it's rather easy. We are in control of our choices-- whether they be things we do or the way we respond to things in our lives. We have the ability choose a path or a reaction. It doesn't choose us.

There is no need to repeat myself. We all know what is going on with me physically. The one question I have gotten repeatedly over the last month is "How are you doing?" First, I feel grateful that I surround myself by people who care enough to ask without assuming they know. But, as the receiver of such a question it can be a tad daunting. At first I didn't know what I felt or how was I doing. It was simply too much to process. I needed time to find me in whatever my reaction was going to be.

Then, a week or so later I realized something. I had a choice. A rather big one. I could choose to let this...this injury, this truly unfortunate injury...define me. To bring me to the brink of sadness and anger. To erase all the sunny sense of self that I have built and defined myself by all these years. Nobody would say my situation didn't warrant such a response.

Or, I could simply not.

I iimagined actually choosing to not let this define me. I imagined choosing to not let this completely reverse how far I had come and how naturally optimistic I still was. I imagined just saying this won't define me. Period. I imagined me just allowing this to be a chapter in a long, multi-volume book. A chapter that I will always remember and most likely changed the course of the book, but doesn't take away from who I am and who I was.

I have chosen to not let this injury bring my life to sad and dark halt. I've chosen to just keep moving forward. I did my first round of Prolo last month (I'll write a real post about it, because it deserves one). I actually asked friends for help, something I just don't know how to do (It isn't my natural style to ask for help...I'd rather be the one helping). I scheduled my next round of Prolo on September 11th. I looked into buying an Arm Bike at my house...because, that is bad ass. I called the Chicago Marathon and told them I wasn't running it this year and I did not want to delay my entry until next year. I do not want to hold on to what might be. I want to live right now...I want to feel better physically, but I also want to start to build a life around the potential of whatever "better" is, it likely will not be what it used to be. I do not want to sit around stagnant saying I can't commit to anything until this all is over. This is life...I'm not going to just "wait it out". I booked a trip to Paris and Thailand. If I can't run, I better keep traveling. Because, my passion for both haven't diminished an ounce.

Me at a fabulous Wedding just a few days after my first Prolo Therapy...Smiling