Grit

As we go through life...school, work, friendships, activities...there are always a certain few adjectives that just keep coming up when others are asked to describe us. "Wow, she is just so FUNNY...she is totally ORGANIZED...she is FEISTY." Generally, these descriptions tends to be things that are flattering (for the most part), but ones that just aren't that original. In fact, they are probably the same words we'd use to describe ourselves, if asked. They don't really tell us something new about ourselves. They definitely do not let us see ourselves from another point of view. They are just nice confirmations that everyone is on the same page.

 

But, every once in awhile, someone says something to describe you that totally changes the game. It makes you stop and realize something about yourself that you could never have articulated as well before. It makes you stop and say, "Yeah, you are totally right. Thanks". It opens you up to understanding something about yourself that you didn't even know others would notice.

 

During my time training for Comrades I had a lot of people use a lot of adjectives to describe me and what I was doing. Typically, it would start with a general comment like "Wow, you are amazing/crazy." Sometimes "amazing" and "crazy" would be used together...sometimes separately. But, crazy and amazing tended to be twin descriptors. You couldn't have one without the other. Frankly, I think that is okay because everything amazing in life is somewhat crazy. The only issue I ever saw with these descriptors were that they didn't really help me learn something about myself that I didn't already know. I knew what I was doing was amazing. I knew that I was somewhat crazy. Done and Done. Next... Another one was, "Wow, you are dedicated." Another complementary description. Another thing I already knew.

 

So, as I was sitting 2 days before Comrades I was repeating everything I had heard other people say to me to give me some sort of last minute confidence. Unfortunately, though, to say you are "amazing" to yourself over and over again right before you do something like Comrades doesn't really help you out. It feels uninspired and, frankly, a bit generic. Finally, my Mom turned to me (who was traveling with me) and changed the game. She told me she had spoken to my sister, Sarah, a few hours before she left the States and she had said something about me. She said "Vera can do Comrades. She is gritty. The grittiest person I know." Woah, stop a second. "Gritty?" What does that mean anyway? Immediately, when you hear a word like gritty, you think of some big, hard working, construction worker guy (or at least that is what I think of). Not me, not someone who is about to run a 56 mile Ultra marathon. Gritty was never a word I used to describe myself before, nor had I ever really even used it. But, then I stopped and realized it ended up describing me perfectly.

After my Mom said that to me, I didn't really respond. I just kind of smiled and nodded. Not really giving away that that one little word had kind of changed my whole perspective on the race and what I was about to do. Like most things in life, I just had to process it a bit internally. For the next 2 days, I just ran over and over in my head the word "Gritty" and what she had told me. What does it really mean? What did I ever do to get such a description attached to me? How can being "gritty" actually help me deal with 56 miles? After internally agonizing over a little word for more time that I can remember (those days before a big race seem to last 50 hours each...time just drags!), it all just made sense and I started to write down all the reasons why I KNEW I was gritty. Here is my translated notes (that were written on the back of a Durban, South Africa Map. I wrote those things down and repeated them to myself throughout the whole race. Now, that's some motivation.

My list of Grit:

• Grit is having the guts enough to sign up for Comrades and think that you can actually do 56 miles
• Grit is actually training for it...for real.
• Grit is powering through the worst weather, ever.
• Grit is looking at your watch when it says 6 hours and knowing you have minimum 3 more to go
• Grit is getting up at 6am on New Years Day (after you went out the night before) and meeting some 100 mile Ultra marathon veterans (whom you have never met before) for a grueling 2.5 hour initiation into advanced Ultra running...in 6 feet of snow with no clips on your running shoes
• Grit is not quiting when you wanted to just go home and sleep 
• Grit is smiling at the cameras when it hurts
• Grit is eating more Gus, Gels, Power bars, and Powered "nutrition" than real food for 6 months 
• Grit is running in the dark during a blizzard because South Africa won't care that there was a Blizzard in Boston during training and won't have much sympathy for you on race day.
• Grit is being able to tell everyone that it is going "great", when you really are tired 
• Grit is running hill repeats all winter...then running 9 miles after that. 
• Grit is doing speed workouts...alone, because you couldn't get home in time from work to meet the group 
• Grit is resisting the urge to just yell "give me a break people, I'm on my 29th mile here" when yet another Boston car honks at you
• Grit is resisting the urge to trip the egomaniac 2-mile causal male runner who likes to think he is so "tough" for sprinting past me on the sidewalk during training runs 
• Grit is bearing through scars and blood from my sports bra after every run...and then figuring out how to take a shower without crying (you runners know what I mean...)
• Grit is sprinting to the finish line, after 9 hours because it is almost done and you have nothing to lose
• Grit is signing up again.

Grit up a really big hill

Comrades Part 1: Training for the unthinkable

The Aftermath of a 50K

Sometimes an experience is so full of describable moments that you actually find yourself unable to find the words to begin. Perhaps you are unsure what pieces of information are important enough to share or maybe you just are not ready to share them at all. This is what has happened to me since my last actual post in April 2011. So much has happened this year—so much running, so much amazing travel, and so much that most people will never really be unable to understand. But, I’ll start now to finally let more people in to what training for Comrades, running Comrades, and then the predictable reality that comes when it is done is actually like. So, here we go on the training part first…


As many of you that have been following my blog know, I signed up for Comrades in Sept 2010 after running marathons and such for several years (I had about 17 marathons under my belt). The first question I get asked is: “Why in the world would you sign up for something like that?” To me, that is the craziest question to answer because if someone is asking that question they probably will never run an ultra themselves, or more importantly, do not really want to understand what one is like. They have already made the decision up that 56 miles is crazy, traveling Africa is crazy, and I’m the craziest of them all. Period. But, for all those that are curious as to why I signed up, my answer is quite simple. We have amazing bodies and we are meant to run. Humans can do incredible things. I wanted the ability to see what incredible things I was able to do…while I was young, with the opportunity. This way, when I’m 80 or so years old and my body is failing like everyone else’s, I can say I did something incredible with my Body at its peak. Plus, let’s get real…it’s South Africa and that is just plain amazing! It was the ultimate Will Run for Travel moment and I knew there was no reason to be scared. Just do it and don’t think too hard about all the reasons that it could potentially be a bad idea. Because, frankly, if you think too hard about anything you could likely come up a handful of reasons why not to do it.

Run you 1st 50K and win it? Sure, why not?

The Training

I’m a firm believer to do something as challenging as an Ultra, you have to have this burning drive to do it. It has to be deep within you and something you can literally feel, but most likely couldn’t describe to others. You have to want it…bad. Because, training for an Ultra (and one on the Road vs. Trail) is no joke. It’s hard, it’s excruciating at times, and it requires you to really like yourself and your alone time. Because, you will have a lot of time with yourself and your thoughts. Add the winter weather in Boston to the mix and it was literally the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and likely ever will (Unless, I do it again, of course….) I really don’t want to sugarcoat this part of it (something so many runners so often do), because it’s an important part of the process. I frankly found the training to be one of the most rewarding parts.

So, how did I train? First off, I had an amazing coach…my friend Erika. A very accomplished runner and Triathlete in her own right, she helped me every step of the way with a plan and advise. It was as if I had another person invested in this with me. Someone I was accountable to. It was that accountability that got me out there when it was literally 0 degrees BEFORE wind chill and my face bleed from cracked wind-burned skin (true story). I think a coach revolutionizes your running and it is the best investment I ever made. First pieces of advice—don’t go at it alone. Get a coach or a group. 56 miles is too much to manage alone.

After the coach, the rest of training came down to 1 main thing. Prioritization and the Prioritization of running YOUR training plan. I often pride myself on my life balance—the ability to go out and have a well rounded life that includes work, friends, culture, family, AND running. I don’t like to make sacrifices…I like to push myself to do it all. Comrades changed that for me. I had to prioritize it, no matter what. That meant running at 4am before a full day of work and an event at night. It meant running no matter what the weather was. It meant no excuses. It also meant having to say “NO, I can’t” to a lot of people I love. This caused me a lot of angst because I wanted to do it all and just physically couldn’t. I think the people closest to me 100% understood, but it was me that sometimes put the guilt on myself. That is one of the biggest lessons that I learned—the people that truly love you will understand. They will understand that your intentions are in the right place and that you just are doing all you can. That also made me realize the same in others and I came out being more understanding and flexible in general. Life is busy and everyone has their priorities, but generally good intentions. Quite a freeing thought, actually. Stop worrying about other people’s priorities. Worry about your own.

 I don’t often talk about training on Will Run for Travel. I guess, that is not what Will Run for Travel is about. But, in this case I’ll give you the real info…because, people have asked. The key to my Comrades training was back to back long runs for 6 months. Every Sat and Sunday I ran back to back double digit long runs. This trained me to work through tired legs and it forced me to experience what I’d likely feel during the race itself--- extreme lactic acid build up. It also got me mentally tough. The 2nd element to training was running with a heart rate monitor and teaching myself to not think about pace, but time on my feet. The key to that is to keep your heart rate low enough that you keep your body efficiently working. If your heart rate is low enough, you are trained enough and have the proper nutrition to you can literally run forever. It was truly an incredible strategy. The 3rd element was Nutrition, a concept foreign to me until I got into Ultras. In an Ultra you are running a distance where you body literally cannot do it without water, calories, and salt. In a marathon, you actually could technically run it without any additional caloric intake (you may go slow, but you can do it…) In Ultras, you body will fail you. So, I learned the art of purposeful nutrition. Here was my plan (just in case you were curious):  

• I ate 1 Whole Wheat Bagel + Almond Butter exactly 2 hours before the start. I also drank water, but not obsessively. Enough to quench my thirst, but I didn’t “over hydrate”. I always craved coffee, but just couldn’t handle it before a race.
• I carried a 24oz running water bottle + fanny pack. I started with a Half packet of powdered Perpetum in my water bottle and sipped it continually through the 1st 2 hours of the race.
• I took 1 Gu Gel every 47-50 minutes, with 2-3 Endurolyte Tablets 20 minutes after my Gel. I know that seems very intense, but it was that regimen that helped me focus vs. thinking about the sheer number of hours I had to run. It actually distracted me!
• Late in the race I refilled my water bottle with more Perpetum. I also took a bit of Gatorade and a couple salted potatoes with about 10K left. I just needed a little something!

As I was training for Comrades I really practiced my Nutrition with ever run, including trying out more flavors that I ever really wanted to of Gu and various powdered substances. So, before I get too much into the boring details, I’ll end by summing up my Top 10 Tips/Things to Know about Training for Comrades. So, here we go:

10) Find a cross-training plan, including strength training, yoga, and Spinning.

9) Don’t think to hard about running. Just run.

8) Get used to being sweaty. As I said before you will likely be sweaty more than you are clean. Embrace it!

7) Put your training runs on your schedule, including your work schedule. This has to be a top priority in your life and you need to figure out how to say “no” to those things that just don’t fit with training.

6) Practice your Nutrition…a lot. Try lots of combos and try to work through an upset stomach during your runs. Your stomach will likely hurt at least once during the race. Might as well practice how you are going to manage that now!

5) Get a Heart Rate Monitor Garmin and stop worrying immediately about your pace. It’s all about heart rate and time on feet. Even distance isn’t as critical. It’s a different game.

4) Don’t overeducate yourself or become obsessed with reading what OTHER people have to say about the race or their plan. Don’t over think it. Just think about YOU, YOUR PLAN, and your running. You are doing this for you, not based on someone else’s opinion of what you should do.

 3) Invest in the best gear you can afford. Get multiple pairs of shoes, buy great quality compression tights, base layers, gloves, sports bras, etc. The truth is simple: you’ll be in running clothes more than “real” clothes, so you better like them.

2) Find a support system of friends, fellow runners, coaches, etc that can keep your accountable and motivated. Also, they can remind you of what the “real world” is like. It’s good to remember that world isn’t Ultra Marathoning. There is a lot more to do beyond just run.

1) Truly understand WHY you want to run an Ultra and be sure it’s compelling enough a reason to really push you. It’s just too hard if you don’t have that.

Welcome to the joys of Trail Running

Milestones

You know those moments in life where you actually recognize that once you do something you likely will never be the same person again? Graduations, Marriages, and Babies usually all fit into that category. For me some of my major milestones in the past 5 years have been around travel, work, and running. Running my first marathon, traveling to Asia for the 1st time, finally fullfilling my desire to visit Iceland. Each has changed me. I'm just not the same person I was before I did them.

Tomorrow is another one of those moments: My first 50K. After tomorrow at 2pm, I will always be able to say I've run 31 miles. I'll be more than "just" a marathoner. Not that marathoning is unworthy, it is just that I will be able to say I've done more. Experienced more. Pushed myself to limits that most people really would never dream of. I left my apartment in Boston today and thought, "wow, when I come back on Sunday I just won't be the same". Maybe to some people this is an overdramatization of the situation. For me, it's so not.

I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings. Bring it.

Why running rocks

I received this email from Comrades today. Thought it was awesome and totally what Will Run for Travel is all about. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Former marathon and track runner Jesse Owens once said: "I always loved running. It is something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs".



On that note, we at the Comrades Marathon Association would like to add that running has no limits or boundaries. Running is one's natural ability to masterfully control one's body across any finish line. When you are out there, on the track or on the tarmac, you are in complete and utter control - the way nature intended! The 86th Comrades Marathon is fast approaching and we urge everyone who has yet to submit their club and qualifying details to do so before 6th May 2011. We also encourage runners to support the Race 4 Charity initiative and make this year's run even more memorable.

Remembering what the Unknown feels like

The red circle is around me...finishing my 1st Marathon and having no clue what would be next for me and running



Training for this Ultramarthon has been the hardest thing I have done. There has been intense cold, feet and feet of snow, slippery ice, mind-blowing wind, hours and hours of running, dodging rude Boston drivers, and lastly dealing with the constant pounding on my body. There were days when all I wanted to do was NOT run and others where I felt amazing and fast. But regardless of the tough parts, I feel proud and happy I'm doing it. Right now I'm in the midst of it. The hardest weeks are here and the light at the end of the tunnel is still a month away. It could possibly be the hardest April ever... mentally and physically.

I remember back in September when I signed up for Comrades, I said that one of the main reasons I wanted to test myself beyond the Marathon was to remember the feeling of the unknown. To feel "ignorance is bliss" again (I always say to 1st time Marathoners that they should enjoy the element of ignorance of the distance. The fact that you have no idea what it feels like...because you'll never get that innocence back. You will always know how it feels...whether you choose to talk about it or not). I can say with 100% certainly, I'm feeling that ignorance again. The unknown is here and I'm nervous. I think being nervous helps us be better and dig deeper. I'm nervous (even perhaps scared), I'm digging deep,  and I'm in it.

This Saturday I am running the longest distance I have ever run at one time (50K or 31 miles). I'm also running my first Trail race. They always say to never to do firsts at once. I guess I'm ignoring that. I'm so scared of the unknown on this one. I have never run over 26.2 miles. What does mile 28 feel like? What does it feel like after dodging limbs and rocks for 5+ hours? Have I trained enough? Have I practiced my nutrition enough? Am I mentally tough enough? I remember when I ran my 1st Marathon I was full of unknowns, but I was 100% confidence I'd finish. I'd be lying to say I'm this confident this time...no matter how many hours of training on the roads I have done. So, here is a laundry list of what is going through my head before I embark on the next chapter of my running life. Just so I always remember what not knowing feels like.

1. What will it feel like? More painful or less than a Marathon? Will slower, softer trails make it go by easier on the limbs?
2. Can I run for that long? It's a simple as that.
3. Will I get sick? Am I going to eat enough or eat the right things?
4. Will I get lost? Can I follow the trails?
5. What mental games will I play with myself to get through it?
6. What will it feel like to finish?

The post may sound like I'm sad or overwhelmed by this challenge. Maybe there is a very small portion of it that is true, but mostly I'm just excited. After Saturday I will say I'm not just a Marathoner but an Ultra marathoner. I'm no longer a wannabe, but the real deal. I can't wait to be the real deal...even if I'm giving up blissful ignorance.

Finding Balance

Balance. There are some days when we feel that we have figured out the secret to how to balance life's challenges. But, unfortunately, most days are those when we fail miserably at balancing our lives. We know we need it. But, for some reason, we can never get quite there.



Over the past 2 months, I have failed miserably at balance. I'll admit it. Frankly, anyone that knows me knows that I have. This blog knows that I have. It makes sense too-- you can't add in training for an Ultramarathon, keep everything else constant, and stay balanced. No one is a Superhero. Not even me. Running, working, personal life, family life, friends, sleep, alone time, cross-training. At the crux of it all was Running. The thing I loved the most was the thing that was throwing the whole wheel off. How do you find balance when you know the culprit is what you love the most? Do you give up everything? Or do you give less to the thing you love?


None the less, in the midst of complete imbalance, I think we can learn the most about ourselves-- what we need, what we don't need, and most importantly our limits. I certainly have. To me, limits have been interesting because the past 3 months have been all about pushing them physically and mentally beyond my wildest dreams. Yet, I've also figured out you can only push yourself so far. Some days your limits are endless and other days they seem far from lofty. Neither is better, but both are fair and should be given the same acknowledgment. So, in the midst of no balance, sore quad muscles, a constantly hungry stomach, and an ongoing internal dialogue about how to run for hours on end, here is what I have learned about my latest journey-- the journey towards 56 miles.


1- Running 56 miles is no joke. Training for it is even crazier. Back to back long runs. Cross-training. Core Fusion. Exhaustion. It really is no joke and I'm not going to sugar coat it and say it is easy. It isn't. But, it will make crossing the finish line that much sweeter. There is a quote in a song I've been listening to a lot lately that say "Never said it was going to be this hard". Well, regardless of how true that statement feels, everything I suspected and read told me it was going to be this hard. Living it is a whole other reality, though.


2- Boston winters are no joke. I've lived in Boston over 2 years now and trained for 2 Boston Marathon and 4 other Marathons here. But, winters here in Boston are like a painful memory that you forget each summer only to be reminded in November. This year has been worse than I remember. Frigid temps, crazy winds, snow, ice, sleet, rain, hail. I've learned the art of slowing down, running in knee-deep snow, and just waiting until you turn numb and no longer feel how cold it is. Spring, bring it on. I'm ready.


3- Distance is relative. I ran the Cowtown Marathon in Fort Worth, TX a couple weeks ago and I ran behind a guy that had a shirt that said "Distance is Relative". The Cowtown had 3 races in 1-- a Half Marathon, a Full Marathon, and an Ultra Marathon. So, distance truly was relative. I remember just reading his shirt and thinking, "Wow, that is really true". Somehow 31 miles doesn't seem that much longer than 26.2, but compared to a Half it is an eternity.


4- A good friend of mine once told that her father’s approach to Marathon training was “Sleep to Win”. I always laughed and thought how cute that statement was, but never really took it as fact. For me, I always thought to win you must train and work harder than the rest. When all you do is train and work hard, the importance of rest really comes to play. I haven’t cracked this nut yet, but I’m working on it.


5- Know why you are doing it because nobody is going to get you out there but yourself. I like to think I surround myself with amazing friends and family, but at the end of the day none of them truly understand what is going on. Why am I going out in 5 feet of snowing and running? Why do I have to do that? At the end of the day, they can support and congratulate me for what I am doing, but I must be internally motivated beyond all else. This is what I has gotten be through the 1st 3 months of training and this is what will get me through the last 3.

My new favorite thing of 2011

Out with Runner's World and in with Marathon and Beyond. I am in love. For Christmas my Mom got me a subscription to Marathon and Beyond. It is this incredible magazine (although, it reads like a book) all about running. Unlike Runner's World which is full of the same old bland advice repackaged with pretty new models each month, Marathon and Beyond actually gives you great advice on how to run better. In this month's issue they talk about such critical topics like the "Wall" and go in actual helpful advice based on tons of research. It reads more like a science experiment summary than a watered down article. They also had great advise on running in extreme temperatures. No crazy ads and rarely even any pictures. Just real advice, by real runners.

If you ever have any interest on becoming a better/stronger/happier runner, I strongly suggest you sign up for a subscription. Here is the link

Reflecting on 2010

There is something awesome about street bricks outside the US

(Florence, Italy)



Woah. How is it 2011 already? When did that happen? To all you readers out there, Happy New Year and here's to a year full of travel, running, and lots of joyful moments!

The funny thing about New Years is that we are all so eager to move on and celebrate the new year, that we so quickly abandon the year before. The music, movie, restaurant countdowns end and all we are left with is a new year and a lot of cold, dark winter nights ahead. I figured I would try to break the cycle of forgetfulness by waiting a couple days into the New Year before reflecting on 2010. So, here we go.

2010- A Year of Changes, Adjustments, and Being Okay with just being Okay
I've never been one for Holiday Letters. To me, they have always seemed a bit too forced and a bit too full of the fluffy, fun facts vs. the actual realities of the year. I suppose it is easier to sum up the end result vs. the messy, sometimes ugly facts that got us there. For most people, Holiday Letters are a way to get on paper a cliff notes version of your life in 12 months. I just question whether it really sums up the year at all, or just the things that you are okay with sharing publically. Maybe it is a combination of both, really.

So, here is my 2010 in summary...with some of the fluff and some of the reality built in there for fun.

The Pantheon. That's just smart. 

January through June
January through June was a great 6 months because it really introduced me to a new adult life. Here I was, recently single for the first time in a very long time, focusing entirely on me. At 27 years old it was a liberating feeling (I can do whatever I want, whenever I want), but scary at the same time (How do a create a new world for myself when I liked my old one?) In the end, though, I remember the great moments-- running in the dark alone and being okay with that, finally getting over my fear of competitive running groups and joining the BAA and their insanely hard track workouts, discovering my love of Core Fusion and Yoga (even hot Yoga), becoming much closer to some great new friends, and running the best Boston Marathon time ever. One of the other best things I did was started practicing Restorative and Meditative Yoga, which helped me center myself and finally teach me to leave work at work. I remember it being cold and snowy. I remember seeing two amazing bands-- Spoon and Atoms of Peace. I remember realizing that I really wanted to start writing a blog and I actually had something worthwhile to write about (here we are!) Mostly, I remember slowly starting to let go of the past without necesarily realizing I was. I think an unconscious release makes it easier.

Pre-Boston Marathon. Feeling and Looking Strong



The last half mile.

June to September
This summer was a busy one for me. It started with a fabulous trip by my Mom to Boston. It was the first time she hadn't come for a major reason except to see me. In June I started to adjust to my new life without the obsessive focus on running (in which kept me going through the winter). I visited Madison, WI in July and had a reunion with my study abroad friends in Riveria Maya, Mexico in July/August. The summer peaked in September during my 2 week trip to Mainland Italy and Sicily. Also, in September a necessary move happened and I felt an incredible amount of release come with that.

 Emily's Wedding. Proving that weddings can be fun, even when you sweat and smell bad

Madison, WI. Of course, they have meat raffles in WI.

Nantucket, MA. Cranberry Bog. Why not?

Fabulous friends in Mexico.

September to December
The Fall/Early Winter was an interesting one and probably the time that I learned the most about life. It was full of Marathons (Clarence De Mar Marathon in Keene, NH and Mt. Desert Island Marathon in Acadia National Park, Maine), an insanely busy work schedule, eating at fabulous restaurants with fabulous people, and officially signing up for the Comrades Marathon in South Africa. It also came with some betrayal and heartbreak. Yet, the lesson I finally learned was that that heartbreak is just life, playing out its random set of good and bad cards. There is something librating about relating what happens in your life to life itself verses blaming yourself/God/Others. Someone told me this month, "Life brings the Good and the Bad no matter how Good you are". It is probably the first thing anyone has told me in a long time that actually makes sense.

I had some amazing supporters out for my races. Here is just one of the Posters of the Year



Yes, I really do like the music of 1994 that much. 

2010 wasn't about others, it was about making me the best me I can be in the face of the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was about being ok with being me. It was about discovering my passions and finally writing about them. It was about working on myself, so I can be a better person. In the end, I think it has made me a better person for 2011. Bring it on.