When you just can't Run

I'm straight up embarrassed to admit that it has been almost a full 5 months since my last post. I could try to come up with some clever way to tell you how busy I was (I was, but aren't we all?...not a good excuse) or how I had nothing interesting to write about (I can't tell you how many half written posts I have). But, in reality, I just couldn't bring myself to write anything fully. Call it Writers Block. Call it losing touch with your inspiration. I call it just not running. 


I haven't run a step since Mid January. Yep, you read that right. It's been over 5 months and there is little of progress. I've been to 5 Doctors, PT 2x a week for 5 months, gotten a Cortisone shot in a place that makes people cringe when I tell them. I've done 1 hours of PT exercises a day for 5 months, not run a step, and did everything every well-intended professional told me to do. Including not working out at all and no Core Fusion. I've gone to Acupuncturist, Herbalist, and subjected myself to all sorts of painful types of "alignment" and deep massage. The issue is that what I have is so rare most professionals have never heard of it before, let alone treated it. It just straight up sucks and I'm not going to try to sugar coat it otherwise.  I've cried, I've bitched, I've said it isn't fair, I've said how much it hurts. I've been dealing with being a Runner who can't run. And that person seem like me, but someone who is missing something. Because, I am. I'm missing something I love. It's made me look at the world differently and appreciate things more fully. But, deep down...even with a Half Glass Full mentality, it just makes me sad. Because I love running more than most people I know.


I'm not going to try to teach some profound insight in this post. I'm just going to tell you how it is. Straight up. What I've learned, What I miss, and What I can't wait to do again.

• I've learned that the body is an amazing machine. But, even machines break down sometimes.
• I've learned that machines can break down even if the driver did nothing wrong...and tried to do everything right (like cross-train, stretch, eat well, and listen to the body)
• I've learned that movement is something we should never take for granted. After 5 months of walking in pain, I'd take just a simple walk to the kitchen without "feeling it".
• I've learned that running 400 meters around a track 1x is a gift that I would joyfully embrace if I get the chance to again.
• I've learned that sometimes there is no explanation why.
• I've learned that even the most balanced life, with lots of joys and friends, can still be sad with an absence of something you truly love
• I've learned that what I did last year at Comrades was superhuman and amazing. My body gave me the opportunity to do that and I'll be forever grateful.
• I've learned that Pool Running requires a lot of perseverance and patience...especially when being kicked and splashed by old men swimming badly near you.
• I've learned to share with others what I know about running and that brings me joy
• I've learned that I am a pretty good coach...and can help people train for amazing accomplishments and that kind of is the same as doing it yourself.

A lot of people have started to ask me what I'd do if I "can't run again". I think that is a ridiculous thing to tell me. Yes, of course I will run again. I have 2 legs, 2 feet, and a perfectly healthy body. People run on a lot less than that. So, I'll be back. No doubt. And it will be glorious-- I can see it in my mind and it may just be the best day ever.




20 seconds after I finished Comrades and the joy was uncontrollable. That feeling is what forces me through PT and Water Running. I will feel that feeling again.