365 Days without Running

I really didn't want to write this post. I was secretly hoping as the months ticked by that somehow New Years Day 2013 would not come without a Run. But, alas, it is December 31st and tomorrow WILL come and I will not be tying on my shoes and all my winter running gear to go Running on the 1st day of the New Year. Instead, I'll be packing my bags and going to try to get sweaty on the Arm Bike...with still no sight of when or how I'll run again. I have at least 2 more painful Prolotherapy injections in my future and potentially an even more painful Platlet Rich Plasma injection. Hope is within me, but it has tested every inch of my being to stay positive. Every single inch.

I wish I had some insightful thing to say (like, it was "incredible" that I didn't run...that I learned all these great things, etc). But, no. I'm not going to lie. When you love something you cannot do, it's burns a deep hole that is only partially filled by other things. For me, it hasn't just been about running, it's been about not being able to move without pain. Movement is life and to have a life of pain with movement, is just a hard thing to describe to others. I'm not sure how many people really get it. I'm not sure how many people ever will.

So, as I look to 2013, I stay hopeful that something will change. That the universe will somehow change this course. I stay reminded that unfair things happen all the time to people. I am reminded that it could always be worse. Always. But, I have one very simple wish for 2013. Just 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes of running pain-free. I promise to never take it for granted again. I promise to appreciate every second I run. I promise to spread love and joy when I run.  Here is to a 2013 that simply must be better than 2012.

My trail running shoes. They are clean and waiting for me.