Thursday, June 3, 2010

The beauty of traveling alone



I consider myself a pretty independent person and I think most of my friends would agree. Being independent isn't about not liking to be around others or being an introvert. In fact, very much the opposite. It is all about knowing when the company of others is a gift and knowing when the company of yourself is even more precious. It is about knowing when to turn off the noise and just be one with your own thoughts and your own surroundings. It is about being more aware of those around you vs. clouding it out in your own mindless conversations. It is about not filling the space with conversation for the fear of silence, but it is about embracing that silence as a time to be totally focused on yourself. Traveling alone and independently is something so many people fear and few try because it isn't what we are told travel is supposed to be about. We are told that travel is done in groups--- with friends and family--- and that a traveler alone is surely lonely. When it comes to travel there is a time and a place for the company of others, but traveling alone is something we all should experience.


During my travels I have had wonderful experiences with family, with friends, with coworkers, and with complete strangers. Each of those travels has been about experiencing a new place together, as a group, and with the considerations of the group in mind. That is the thing about group travel-- you never truly do 100% of what you want, because you are always compromising for the group. This is usually done willingly and automatically for the sake of the trip and the group. In the end, we usually don't even think about it as a sacrifice because the joy those others bring us far outweigh any negatives. Of course there is a time and place for such travel because there is one pretty big downside. With group travel we often don't let ourselves be silent and just listen to what is around us. It is about being alone and being comfortable with that alone time. We travel as a stampede and, in return, the location treats us as such. Being on their "best behavior" and putting on a nice, safe show for us. Where as, when alone, we blend in much easier and, in return, the location has no time to hide.


Independent travel should be embraced by us all, because no matter what anyone can do it to some degree. It is all about finding some period of time to explore alone, even if just an hour while the rest of your group is asleep. I have planned trips totally alone as well as planned portions of my trips this way. It is liberating and enjoyable. If you need a bit more convincing here are some of the top reasons:


1- When you are alone, you are much more easily mistaken for a local (which I always take as a complement). This also makes you look more confident. If it is between robbing you, a person who looks confident and alone, vs. a group of misguided and confused tourists, they will pick the tourists. Hands down.


2- You often will meet very friendly and interesting strangers. Each time I have been alone while traveling I have met some of the nicest people, many of whom I still correspond with via email. I've been at Speaker's Corner in London and met some locals who later invited me to a play (which was a pure joy), a bike shop owner in Bath who gave me a free beer and a bike for the day, and the nicest Chinese expat at the Beijing airport. You'll hear great stories and be approached (in a good way) by many good-intentioned strangers! You just have to be open to it.


3- You can actually hear and listen to the local language. When you aren't drowning out the local sounds in your own English conversations, you can actually listen to the sound of the local conversations. Language is beautiful and to me it sounds like the most perfect background music.


4- You can travel and do whatever you want. You can explore an old town center and turn right or left whenever, where ever. No reason to consider what others want to do, or how tired others are. You can be totally selfish in what you want, when. It is liberating to be selfish sometimes because we are all not selfish enough.

5- It is impossible to disengage from your trip. When in a group, there is usually a leader by default and that allows the others just "follow alone". There is absolutely nothing wrong with this (there is a time and a place) but, what you lose is your awareness of your surroundings. You will notice much more if you are responsible for getting yourself home.



At the end of the day, I know some people are just inherently more comfortable with the idea of independent travel than others. That is OK! But, what I hope we all consider is just at least a "mini-alone getaway" where we build in that time. There is always an opportunity to be alone, you just have to consider that alone time as much the destination as the trip itself.



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